By Joshua Z. Seaborn
Press Secretary Sean Spicer will forever be remembered staunchly clutching his podium as he swung it at the press. He is pro claimer of the alternative fact and denier of press accusations. “This was the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration-period.” “When we talked about ‘wiretapping,’ he meant surveillance.”Spicer is a man who embraces the press with a warm heart, whose ultimate goal is to help them file the truth. “You’re coming to some serious conclusions for a guy that has zero intelligence.” His vocabulary and smooth examples are astounding, “I think when you come to sarin gas, there was no, he was not using the gas on his own people the same way that Assad is doing… [Hitler did not bring them] to the Holocaust centers and I understand that what I was saying in the way that the Assad used them where he went into town dropped them down to innocent into the middle of town,” when speaking about the use of sarin gas by the Syrian Government.
Always willing to help pitch in to help the press, “I think your headlines are bad. I’m glad to rewrite… I’d be glad to if you’d like, if you guys are looking for some help,” Spicer said as a reporter yell, “are you looking for a job!” Well the answer was yes. Spicer soon after leaving the White House was signed with Worldwide Speakers Group, the company confirmed to POLITICO. We will all miss the shining star on Saturday Night Live. Don’t worry, Sarah Huckabee Sanders will continue on the tradition of tearing down the fourth estate, while giving them the best ratings they have ever seen.
*Disclaimer: Counter-Errorism is a satirical opinion column*